A season of brokenness and a broken heart is not a thing to be despised or intentionally look to avoid. It is rather a moment in time when God can draw close to us and us to Him to build strength and healing into our lives. The Bible shares the reality that “God is close to the broken hearted and those who are crushed in spirit” Psalm 34:18. I remember when my heart was first broken in my early twenties when my boyfriend of five years wrote me a “Dr John” letter to finish our relationship; I was devastated. My response at the time was one of extreme loss of my future dreams and hopes the result being I turned to alcohol as my comforter rather than God. I decided to go on a a journey to prove that I was good enough and attractive. A recipe for disaster. A broken heart can lead to destruction or a life fully lived.
If God doesn’t despise our brokenness then why should we? It is only societies that would say not to put your pain on display and pretend everything is ok. God however wants to use our broken seasons and there are many we will travel through. Jesus warned us of this in the when he was alive on earth “In this world you will have trouble but take heart for I have overcome the world” John 16:33. Jesus was known as a man of sorrows he put his brokenness on display before going to the cross to die for us all by weeping blood and tears about what was ahead; being separated from God his father and carrying the evil ways and thoughts of humans in his own body. The weight, pain and brokenness he must have felt. Amazingly that he overcame all of that as a human with his life laid down trusting God that all of that brokenness would pass and joy would return.
With Jesus overcoming it brings us hope that when our lives are rooted in Him we can follow His way, the way of the cross. To put all of our own brokenness and pain at the foot of the cross and leave it there. You see our faith really does make us well that is the difference between saying we have faith and walking by faith in Christ. We either give it lip service or it brings healing to our minds and bodies which the world cannot do.
One of the key things with a season of brokenness is make sure we don’t make it our home. It is good to be humble before God but brokenness of heart is something different. When our hearts are broken we will struggle to function whereas humility is acknowledging I do life on Gods terms and through His ways. When we are broken hearted we have to watch disappointment doesn’t lead to long term depression. I wish I had known some people at the time of my own broken heart who would have come around me to encourage me and speak life to be rather than the alcohol voice of no self -worth and a hopeless case that set in to be my best friend. I didn’t know at the time that I could bring all my emotions and reactions under God and be at peace with what he was working through in my life to get me to where he needed to be. With God there is always a way through broken heartedness and a letting go of our ways allows for the flow of healing and restoration. Sadly, we often fight this process.
“Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.”
There is a power in our broken place that I didn’t discover until much later. It is the power of the journey of displaced living to discover yourself and God. Your real self I mean. Many a time we place ourselves in relationships to people, places, organisations and so on to feel like we matter and have an identity. When all the time God is trying to get our attention saying “I am over here; come and follow me” just like when Jesus called His first followers to leave their business and spend time with Him promising to show them a different way. Eventually God in His lovingness sent some people to me to draw my attention to the brokenness that I was loudly exhibiting for general display. Part of my healing from that time to realise that not all was lost. I realised I had a future and I started to pray Psalm 51 every day “Create in me a clean heart and do not take your Holy Spirit away from me.” God knows His own voice and words, He responds to that level of faith. As I began my relationship with God my real identity emerged from the place of a broken spirit and a broken and yielded heart toward God; my only hope. Hope springs up from the broken places if we can turn our gaze off the troubles to Gods voice and heart toward us. A voice of love and compassion.
When we turn our life plan from building our own empire and success to more God shaped ways such as drawing alongside others like the good Samaritan in the Bible we will find that the healing of our hearts comes through reaching out to touch people’s lives with the goodness of God that has touched ours. We begin to feel again. Feeling of compassion and empathy as we notice the brokenness of others. When we have travelled through we can see it in the eyes and voices those around us. The power of our broken heart journey is that we know the path out of that place. We know how to help others engage in the restoration process. Noticing that God has built some endurance and strength into our minds and bodies as He has rebuilt and rebooted us out of the dark place that once looked like it was about to destroy us; that power comes from the journey of deep pain.
Looking back it was my ability to surrender that broken heart to God and not keep carrying it around like a broken record. That is what lifted me to a place of power my surrender to God and His ways. It was only as I looked at the why and what happened that I realised there were deeper layers to myself and areas of vulnerability in myself to be aware of as I journey through this life. What I really learned was this. My life laid down and hidden in Christ is the safest place to be. It’s not that I am in denial of the pain, suffering and sadness that goes with a broken heart it is more that I am not alone in all of that, Jesus is right there with me and I get to follow him by doing what he did. Saying a prayer which He said just prior to His death “Father your will not mine be done.” It’s a great surrender prayer to pray. Once we have let go God can step in and start moving things on our behalf to let His glory be seen.
Expert taken from “Mending the Broken hearted” taken from an anthology which I was able to write two chapters for last year. If you would like to read more please click here.