Have you ever noticed how our buttons can be pressed over silly little things revealing a weakness of the heart?
Probably if we work or live in community we will be more exposed to this. Normally I am really good at taking rubbish that people often fling my way and deal with it by ignoring them. However last week was this was not the case and on reflection I have to say I have learned something new about forgiveness.
I received an unhelpful text that at first glance I laughed at. As I thought about the wording more and more I began to feel anxious as I realised that the person was sticking an accusation on me.
So then I couldn’t get it out of my head and thought this time I am going to have to confront and challenge this to get to the bottom of the real issue behind the accusation. So I called the person explained how I felt (for once) and realised that it was all about
miss communication. Afterwards I should have felt less anxious but no I still spent the entire day letting it eat away at me and found it so hard to forgive. The wound had gone deep. I couldn’t let it go in my mind I had no peace.
I was so desperate to get rid of the inner pain I felt led to chat to Jesus eventually. I prayed and said if I had done anything wrong to forgive me also asked Him to help my mind and heart be peaceful and let it go – I suppose you could say I gave it over to Him and asked Jesus to take the horrible feeling away.
Peace came and I realised a strange thing – I had chosen to forgive: His grace (ability) on the situation brought clarity to my mind and heart and I felt free and happier on the inside.
Unfortunately I am one of those people who show their emotions on the outside – my husband said its been written all over your face today but now you look better.
So here is my thought really on forgiveness. Most books etc say that forgiveness is not a feeling but a choice of the will. However I think it’s both with a process to go through. The choice I made was to speak to Jesus when I couldn’t handle it any more (note to self – do that sooner) and then the feeling of relief comes and mind stops thinking about the person in a negative way.
So I am grateful that I have learned how to forgive. Jesus did say in Matthew 6:14-15 “forgive others so we can forgiven” and the how to is in Matthew11: 28-30 put your heavy weights and problems on Jesus and a divine swap happens you get His weight which is light and He takes yours.
This is the benefit of living through the Cross of Jesus Christ and getting a grip on living out our faith.